Its so hard sometimes just sitting down to write. I feel a bit dim today. But it will pass. What do I want to do???
Am sitting on a sheltered old tramp rack (bench) by the river. Its just coming up to 7am. There is a high tide, because of the New Moon perhaps. Its very still and quiet. A blackbird is serenading me from the gutter of the shuttered office building behind me. There is a musty sort of smell in the air and the air is very still. Not a breath. The smell is a bit like sweaty feet. It seems to be coming from the cowslip type plant which is all around be and on the river bank too. I've got a great view of the Humber Bridge and my alarm has just gone off in my pocket, shattering the peace and scaring the shit out of me. I'm supposed to get up now. Little does the alarm know I've been up since 4:30. Its summer time for the body clock!
I wanted to write some of my Australia book. But its hard just to launch into it. You have to have things running around in your head first. Little snatches of story. Grains of creative sand upon which to build a pearl of literature...lol. My grains of sand are more lumps of clay, dull and resistant to moulding.
Having said that, I'm picking up direction and focus once more. Now that I've come out of my 'permanent job' delusion and got back to being the real me, I can feel a plan coming on. Yesterday I told Gill in work that from now on I'd be working 3 weeks and taking 1 week off. Not much she can say other than 'Well I suppose we can't stop you'. Whenever I drop something on her like that I can see the grey matter running over all the permutations, like working out what card to play next in life's game of Bridge. This time I feel like I'm holding a few good trumps. Makes a change from having a few good trumps. Perhaps its not the cowslips after all.
Have also returned to eyeing up old vans. Part of me quite fancies a caravan. The gypsy part perhaps? If I can't make it as a writer I can always sell a few pegs or tarmac the odd drive. The marketing girls get the local paper every day so will start perusing the 'Vans for Sale' bit and see what's out there in van land. Van Land... didn't he play for Ajax?
Time for a bacon butty. My arse is going numb. How do the tramps put up with it???